Roommates for a Married Couple

Three days ago my sister-in-law moved in with us. She definitely isn't our first roommate. In fact, she's our fifth. Which doesn't seem like much to me, but I have begun to realize that this seems strange to some people. So I thought today would be as good of time as any to explain why we consistently have people living in our home.

First, it is a justice issue for me. The people who live with us are always in their early twenties, in that strange place where they are no longer kids but not making enough money to feel like an adult in American culture. In other words, they are struggling to keep their car running, afford health care, and figure out who they are while doing everything in their power to only have to work one job. So we try to help by offering extremely low rent and roommates that treat them like family rather than an annoying roommate.

Which brings me to the second reason; hospitality. My understanding of hospitality is that it is an opening of oneself. I believe this involves both the physical (a room to stay in) as well as the metaphysical (letting them into my family and my life). I believe our culture has led us to close ourselves off in ways that make scripture's call to hospitality nearly unintelligible. In her book High Tide in Tucson, Barbara Kingsolver tells the story of her time in Spain, where strangers never act like strangers. If your child fell in the playground, they would come pick up the child and comfort it as if it were their own (Try doing this at your local playground and see what happens). We are moving into a hell of our own making, similar to the Hell painted by C.S. Lewis in The Great Divorce, in which everybody lives in self-inflicted isolation, continually striving to move further and further away from one another. But there is another way. This is what hospitality leads us against. We are trying to paint our marriage in the image of God. How cool is that?

Third, having a roommate changes me. It holds me accountable for what I say when I'm at home. It brings different perspectives into our house that I don't hear as often (my last roommate, for instance, was engaged to a nice guy who is also in the National Guard). I get the opportunity to speak into another persons life, and the opportunity to have them speak into mine. It is honestly a great opportunity.

And lastly, I am a homeowner. I struggled long and hard with this theologically. I still do, actually. But the one thing I knew right away was that if we were going to own something this expensive, it had better be used for the glory of God. This has turned us into constant hosts (when we're home, which is not too often, our house very often has guests), as well as an ever-expanding family with each new roommate.

It is great, and I highly recommend it.

Peace,
Matt